of a wonderer

I am sitting here watching the perfect snow fall. My dog is asleep, finally, by my side. I am watching a cute Hallmark movie and thinking about Christmas.

I know that this is not the scientific date that Jesus was born but that does not matter to me. The idea that God, when considering how to change the world would send his son is so baffling to me.

Maybe more confusing to me is why God would want to save us. With each passing year I and each new person I meet I am in awe of the fact that people despise God. Even after everything he has done for us. God sent the gift of his son into a world that he knew would never appreciate him moreover even hate him. We resent everything he stands for and requires of us. We hate the "limitations" that he puts on us even though we can see, if we open our eyes, that without them the world is totally lost. We come up with so many "logical" ways that this religion started or spread that we totally ignore the fact that God is real and does love us even when we TOTALLY do not deserve it. Many people even claim to love God and "believe" in him and then turn around and live everyday in complete selfishness. No matter how people have represented God or Christianity or religion in the past, I wish that people would see just how pure this holiday reflects what God is and what he is willing to give to us. EVERYTHING.

I am not a parent yet but I can only imagine that putting your son in an environment where you know he will be scorned, hunted, disliked, spit on, for sure he wouldn't fit in, and even killed must be one of the hardest things a parent could do. But God loved us so much that Jesus was willing to come in the form of a baby totally dependent on humans, scary, and know that his whole purpose was to die for people who think only of themselves when he thought only of others.

Do we choose to make the world a better place or do we continue only after what makes US happy. Is there more to life than us striving everyday and dieing with loads of money and no one to share it with?

Truly as you think of the people that are wonderful individuals we think of people that give of themselves not the ones that make money and hide away in their hole.

Be the person to make a change in your world.

of a procrastinator.

So I had this great idea that today, Saturday, I would go out and get all my Christmas shopping done. Well guess what . . . the rest of the world thought the same thing. The parking lots everywhere were so full. People in the true spirit of Christmas were so rude. Like taking my spot five car spaces in front of their previous destination was going to save them so much time. Anyway, I did get most of my remaining gifts done and that is great. I also got myself some goodies. I am sure that is why women love to shop because they always find a little something for themselves too.

I am sitting here watching the Hallmark Channel. I am such a dork!! I love it. It is totally reminding me of Indonesia.

I have been trying to teach my dog to roll over. Tonight he DID!!! How exciting. He is a pretty smart little guy. I got him in the beginning of September. I was so ready for a dog but he was way more than I bargained for. He is a Cocker Spaniel and he was 5 months back then. His name is Oliver and he is every color brown, white, and even a little black. Super curly hair and long ears. He is pretty good but has loads of energy. I take him for a walk in the morning but now that the temperature is so low it is hard to get up the motivation to do what I need to. Oliver seems to love the snow but does the snow dance when he gets it in his paws. It's pretty cute. I wonder if I should get him boots. I am really not that kind of person, you know that has a whole wardrobe for the animal but he does have a winter jacket and one for in the morning with reflective strips on it. The boots might be a bit much.

I was invited by Caleigh to go to her "Cwismas pwogwam." So stinkin cute! So I went to the school Christmas program last night. They were great. Evidently they were pretty excited because Samara knew she had to clean her room but wanted to wear her dress so she asked her mom if she could clean in her dress. Ha I love Christmas time.

My psalms

Early June

My soul basks in the glory of the earth. My spirit rests as your creation reminds me of my insignificance.
My brain is filled with wonder and curiosity at the intricacies of your workmanship.


I see you in the splash of the surfacing fish and in the nest filled with the new arrivals of spring.
Even in the smell of the city lake and sound of construction I'm reminded that you are sovereign over all.
The breeze renews my desire to see your face and know your will.
It's your purpose I seek.
The animals are content to hunt for fish, sit on eggs, float, and soar.
Father, if it were so easy I would join them yesterday.


For me, oh God, your plan is great and filled with adventure and passion.
Open my eyes that I might see the way set before me.
Don't let me wander in life like a blind man in a new room.
Father, set my foot to your work.
Guide me to see the schemes of Satan trying to lure me away from the blueprint.
Set my chin with determination on your face.
Let me NEVER forget the depth of your love for me.

Early August

God you are my desire.

You know me better than I know myself.

You know why I make the choices I do even though I myself don't

even understand why I am tempted.

Reveal to me where I need to grow, change, reorder, or die.

Illuminate in my heart places that hide a growing root or spreading mold.

Show me where I might have a wound I've let cripple me into something beyond your design.

I want to be free of me, free of ideas and desires that would cause me to

justify things that can ruin me and my witness.

Lord, I want to be a woman that trusts and obeys with full abandon.

That loves with open heart and arms knowing you protect those who are

the apple of your eye.

Allow me to be strong enough to open myself to your correction and discipline.

You love me and any pain I may suffer is your way of loving me into another person.

Mold me into a woman of grace and gentleness that can be your face,

arms and hands to the suffering.

You love me - I know that full well!