I have so much to say and so many thoughts but not enough patience to get it all down "on paper."

I'm just gonna free write and see what comes out. Forgive me if it turns in to a spider web of random thoughts. I am a woman after all.

Today will be my 18th day engaged. We decided on June 15th for our wedding day. It is a Friday night and we will be having a cocktail reception after a 7 p.m. ceremony.

I should warn you that just to be able to say all that in a definitive way took A LOT of work. First, there was the issue of the venue. These places are so SO expensive with a rental fee and a service fee and a cake cutting fee and a corking fee etc. etc. We only looked at 3 places. I checked out a ton online and then we actually went to 3. The lady from The Bridgewood was so nice and even though her original estimate was more than $3,000 over our budget she worked with us and we finally booked it on Thursday the 16th. We were warned not to wait until after Valentines weekend because there would be a whole new bunch of people engaged and they would be out scavenging up any venues that were left for this year. GREAT!! Right, so the of Valentiens day which also just happened to be the same week I was going to Milwaukee to take my NIC, super big deal, test we needed to have a venue booked. God is good. Scott was able to talk to Julie, the Bridgewood lady, and we good a wonderful buffet for everyone because my Dad seemed to really want food. The cost was still higher than we wanted but we figured it was what my parents wanted. The night of Valentines we went to a jazz club for some music and had some good time to talk about everything. Scott was remembering back to when I wanted only appetizers and a late reception. He asked me what ever happened to that idea because it sounded good to him. I said that we would pay the same if we did just appetizers or a whole meal so it only seemed reasonable to go with what Dad wanted. We concluded the conversation with the decision to rework the numbers, ask Julie for an est. on just appetizers and see what happens. I was still uneasy about being over our budget and so that was the ultimate deciding factor. Meanwhile, I am on craigslist everyday looking at wedding stuff namely dresses. I wanted a champagne colored dress but every one of them I found was well over $500. I know it's crazy but I wanted to keep the cost of my dress to $300. I was looking everyday on craigslist and couldn't find anything that was that color. I was reconciling with the fact that my dress was going to be white. I then chose a color for bridesmaid dresses and set up a time to look at them with the ladies. All this happening, mind you, while I'm meant to be studying for my test. I found a dress that looked ivory and the woman was from way down south and was asking $500 for it. I loved the dress so I emailed anyway and asked if she ever comes to the cities and if she would take $300 for it. It turned out that she worked in Shoreview and was willing to take $350 for it. So, deciding that it was worth the drive, I went up that day to look at the dress. She works at the YMCA which worked out perfect because there was plenty of room to try it on. I got to her office and saw the dress in the bag. I asked her the color because the ad never said what the color was. She winced a bit and said, "Yeah, I should have told you in the email because me knows what I want and he hears my prayers. Let me tell you the dress was perfect. I bought it on the spot. I know it is supposed to be this huge momentous time with your Mom and all your bridesmaids standing around in awe but this was it. I went out to the car to go to an ATM for the cash and called Mom of coarse. While on the phone with her Scott called. I switched over to talk to him because I was anxious to hear what Julie had to say. After pretending that it was not going to work and then acting like I would be disappointed he spit out that the estimate was $500 under our budget!!!!! Can you believe that???? Again I felt like God had orchestrated the whole thing. This all happened on Wed. before my test. So Thursday we went to book the place, I brought the dress home with e on Wednesday. Scott and I left at 6:30 Friday morning to go to Milwaukee for my test and by 2 on Friday afternoon Stacy had, already, found some black lace for the bridesmaid dresses. I knew from way before we were actually engaged what kind of bridesmaid dresses I wanted. I had been looking for back lace for months. I kicked up the search again when I found my dress because for the bridesmaid dress I wanted I had to have the champagne gown. I got that so now was back to the lace dresses. The fabric outlet said that it is really hard to find lace because as soon as they get it it's gone. So when I found the picture online of the exact dress I wanted I sent it out to my girls and everyone one liked it or acted that way. I was thrilled. It was a go. However, I was leaving and not really thinking about it until after the test. I emailed Stacy to check out the fabric store, less than a mile from her house, and she did. She texted me pictures and everything.

So here I sit at 8 in the morning before my test in 4 hours feeling like my cup is overflowing. I have to settle my brain and focus on the test. I told Scott that if I were to put what is going on in my head into a word picture it would be that apparatus they use for bingo games. They turn the crank and the balls all go shooting around the cage or bin. Then they grab one and that is the number. Yup that is my head.

I know that God is so in love with me and I with him but when things like this happen, WOW that message really hits home. As I was getting ready for bed Scott was quizzing me on my Code of Conduct. He stopped and said, "before I go to my room I want to read something for you." He pulled out a Bible and read for me Isaiah 41:10.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Just the word I needed as I walk into this test. It's a big deal have I mentioned that. National Interpreter Certification test. I have one chance to pass, kinda.

Anyway, I wanted to share the HUGE blessings in my life with you to encourage you to know that God is amazing and knows you and knows not only what you need but what you want as well.

P.S. I didn't have time to reread this so sorry. :)

Well exactly one month from the last post my man got down on one knee. He did and I said YES!!!

Scary and totally awesome at the same time. I have a feeling my response will bring me to many experiences that will make me feel that way.

My Mom keeps telling me about a book called The Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. The by line reads, "What if God designed Marriage to make us HOLY more than to make us Happy?"

WHOA, that is heavy! I've already been experiencing some of the effects of this concept as Scott and I have been moving toward our sacred union. Crazy how God works, that was the only thing I could think of the whole day leading up to the question. I didn't even know it was coming but somehow I kept thinking, "you realize you are voluntarily walking into the hardest challenges you will ever face, Right? You know that you are voluntarily killing your former self. You are giving up all the freedom and alone time you had. You are giving up independent living! For goodness sake!"

Yes I do realize it and it scares the crap out of me but then I look around at all the great people around me and on the radio all I can think of is: this is God's plan. He doesn't want selfish little kids around.

There is a quote and I don't know by who but it really resonates with me, "nothing worth doing is easy." Tough stuff and I'm taking the challenge.

With God's grace, that is the only way any of us make it through life anyway right. This way I will just need to depend a bit more, lean a bit more, trust a bit more, let go a bit more, and I will need more of God's grace. Not such a bad thing after all.

Pray for us as we embark of the rest of our lives together. With me in the equation, we're gonna need it.

All glory to God!

Kari Reid

(soon to be Kari Doucette :)