I think blogging is a blast. Clearly I do it all the time, eye roll. The truth is I have a lot of thoughts but I am just not sure people want to read them all the time so I keep lots of them to myself and only try to share what I feel God is revealing to me. Today I'm borrowing a subject from Peter Haas.
First off I would like to address the subject of my pastors message yesterday, Parenting. I was raised in a house where the facts shared in the message were a no-brainer but it was sure interesting to me that he used a secular study to prove what my parents have been saying all along. That the number one predictor of raising healthy stable kids is spiritual nurturing. Teaching your kids about faith. The second is how the parents handle their own stress. Interesting, how the adults handle stress and even what steps they take to avoid stress all together; i.e. making sure you are on a budget, will greatly impact the children in the house. The third, again, does not even involve the children, is how you treat your spouse. Can you believe that?? If they are in a home with a rocky marriage and the adults are at odds there is no amount of money that can change that. No gift or toy will be able to undo what has happened due to the fact that our pride is too big or that we are so selfish. The quality of your marriage effects the kids. You can't throw around the option of divorce and say that the kids will be fine, they won't according to this study.
He said that we seem to have this mentality that we ensure a good marriage in the "shopping stage" meaning we think if we find the right person to marry in the first place that the work is done. We found the right pair of shoes now go run. But it doesn't work like that. We need to be vigilant in our relationship and put lots of time into each other. His advice for couples: every 7 days go on a date, every 7 weeks go away on a weekend together, and every 7 months go on a vacation or mini-vacation together. The kids need to learn how to self sooth or cope when Mom and Dad are not around anyway so this is a good opportunity and healthy for both the children and the parents.
OH, he also said that if a couple spontaneously kiss 8 times a day they will be more healthy, physically. Cool huh?
I can't wait to try all this good stuff out on my husband, whenever God gives him to me that is.
He also did a message last week about the meaning of the word "head" as in the head of the household. Here in America the church gets it wrong often and men tend to think it means that when it comes down to it they are the boss. This is true HOWEVER, the actual meaning is the first to act. I.e. the first to go to battle, the first to sacrifice, the first to repent, the first to call together. You get the idea. The meaning seems more true to the phrase we use: the head of the river. Not the controller but the source of family. Anyway, if you want to hear more and definitely a more eloquent listen go to: http://substancechurch.com/podcast/i/1b40c
I had more to say but it seems so unimportant next to parenting issues. Please utilize the resources available. Your marriage is so precious to God and so SO important to many people. Us single people are watching and trying to learn the good and the could-have-been-handled- betters. Peter said there are more than 40,000 books on parenting on Amazon. It seems like a ocean not easily navigated but these short messages may help in key areas so I hope you have a few minutes to listen.
Happy kissing ;)
Kari
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
of a comfort hopeful.
Last night we had our "Christmas Eve Service." We don't have our own building at Substance so we use Maranatha Hall at Northwestern in St. Paul and it's always reserved for the actual Christmas Eve. The service was amazing. My mothers comment was that she thought it should have been longer and it did feel really short. But the point of it was to entice and befriend people who are "Christmas only" church goers into hearing the news about the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
Anyway, the reason I am here today is because something hit me, there is always something this time of year, and I'd like to share it with you.
When I lived in Indonesia I had a friend that got pregnant. From the time she found out until the time I left she was all about pampering herself. All of a sudden she could not go out after work, 3 in the afternoon, she had to go home for a nap and no more movies that was just way too late for her because she was so tired. I figured out that maybe one reason the women there act this way is because it is the only time their husbands will "serve" them. It is also a time when the mother-in-laws tend to smile more often than they frown. Also, it could be that the infant fatality rate there is higher due to the limited availability of health care. I'm just guessing here but you never know.
On the other hand there is America. Women work up until their last ability to stand. I have seen waitresses that look like they are past due still schlepping dishes to and from tables. BUT then when the time comes there is an army of medical personnel that are there to wipe things and hold things and when really embarrassing things happen like more than the baby comes out there are plenty of people to assure you that it is normal and there is nothing to be ashamed of. The pile of cloths and gloves and instruments that are used and available in case needed are amazing here. When it comes to a wanted baby the earth seems to stop on their behalf. It's a baby after all.
Now for any of you that have been or known someone that has been pregnant think of that last month. You know how a pregnant lady stands up from a comfy couch. One arm at a time trying to lob her weight into the air while holding her back and supporting with her other hand. Then proceeding to waddle to the bathroom 20 times a day. We've all seen it, and laughed but now imagine that same woman not getting out of a couch but off a donkey's back. Think of how in her last month for weeks traveling, which is bad enough in a car with heat and music, high atop a rocking animal who no doubt had a protruding spine that was meant to be her perch for hours on end. How long do you think all the potty breaks made that trip? Do you think she even stopped every time she needed to go. I imagine she felt dirty and gross all the time. She knew she was carrying the son of the God of the universe but do you think that mattered when she really had to go? Maybe God provided a really chubby donkey so her trip wasn't so excruciating.
I think of the night when my family opens gifts, Christmas Eve. How right about the time we are wrapping it up having eaten our fill, enjoyed each others expression of love through gifts, probably sang a little, maybe even shared what Christmas means to us, that is about the time when Mary would have looked at Joseph and screamed "It's time!!!" They had nowhere to go. She lay there in hay, have you tried that before?? My skin starts to itch and turn red. It's not pretty. Did that happen to her? Remember she was around 14yrs old. Another whole thing to think of. Did she have her precious ipod to help her keep her mind off the pain? No, she had the wonderful aroma of cow dooky. It seems to me that all five of her senses were being offended at the time of Christs birth. Think about that . . . what was she hearing . . . seeing . . . feeling . . . smelling . . . and tasting? So much for the glorious moment with bright white beautiful angels and the ever present song, "aaaahhhhhhhhhhh." No ice chips for her maybe not even a clean glass of water.
Then the clean up, I'm not sure I can go on but you get the picture. My point is this: we focus on all that Christ gave up to come to earth to save us and he did indeed give up a lot. But there were other people involved too. They did a ton more than I think I am even capable of. Would I be willing to live completely outside my comfort zone to facilitate His will? Most of the time when I am uncomfortable I think, "there has to be another way to accomplish this . . ." Whether it's fasting, or volunteering, or you name it. Most of the time I'm not even sure what God is trying to do in my life but somehow I limit the whole 'living sacrifice' idea to a max of about 3 hours. I'm usually making my calendar according to things that i want to do. Things I have to get done. Things that I enjoy. I'm pretty sure we think, "well life was so easy back then. They didn't have all the stress and ungodliness we do these days. It's not like she had anything else to do besides having babies" Oh come on!!! The back of a donkey! I wouldn't wish to live during that time for anything. One of their struggles was physical hardship, I think ours is spiritual and emotional. We have to build our character in a much different manner. It's easy to be sneaky now-a-days and watch whatever we want on TV, go out with different groups of friends, listen to music that promotes everything Christ died to save us from, be one person at work and another at church because those people just don't understand.
The question remains: IF God chose me and sent an angel asking me to disrupt my life and do whatever it took to make sure His will could be done, would I do it? No matter the physical, emotional, or spiritual challenge? No matter what my co-workers would say or family, or friends even Christian friends? Would there be room in my calendar? Will it take a 7 foot angel to scare the crap out of me first? Why would he even think to pick me? But wait, hasn't he already picked me? And isn't he asking me that everyday?
Anyway, the reason I am here today is because something hit me, there is always something this time of year, and I'd like to share it with you.
When I lived in Indonesia I had a friend that got pregnant. From the time she found out until the time I left she was all about pampering herself. All of a sudden she could not go out after work, 3 in the afternoon, she had to go home for a nap and no more movies that was just way too late for her because she was so tired. I figured out that maybe one reason the women there act this way is because it is the only time their husbands will "serve" them. It is also a time when the mother-in-laws tend to smile more often than they frown. Also, it could be that the infant fatality rate there is higher due to the limited availability of health care. I'm just guessing here but you never know.
On the other hand there is America. Women work up until their last ability to stand. I have seen waitresses that look like they are past due still schlepping dishes to and from tables. BUT then when the time comes there is an army of medical personnel that are there to wipe things and hold things and when really embarrassing things happen like more than the baby comes out there are plenty of people to assure you that it is normal and there is nothing to be ashamed of. The pile of cloths and gloves and instruments that are used and available in case needed are amazing here. When it comes to a wanted baby the earth seems to stop on their behalf. It's a baby after all.
Now for any of you that have been or known someone that has been pregnant think of that last month. You know how a pregnant lady stands up from a comfy couch. One arm at a time trying to lob her weight into the air while holding her back and supporting with her other hand. Then proceeding to waddle to the bathroom 20 times a day. We've all seen it, and laughed but now imagine that same woman not getting out of a couch but off a donkey's back. Think of how in her last month for weeks traveling, which is bad enough in a car with heat and music, high atop a rocking animal who no doubt had a protruding spine that was meant to be her perch for hours on end. How long do you think all the potty breaks made that trip? Do you think she even stopped every time she needed to go. I imagine she felt dirty and gross all the time. She knew she was carrying the son of the God of the universe but do you think that mattered when she really had to go? Maybe God provided a really chubby donkey so her trip wasn't so excruciating.
I think of the night when my family opens gifts, Christmas Eve. How right about the time we are wrapping it up having eaten our fill, enjoyed each others expression of love through gifts, probably sang a little, maybe even shared what Christmas means to us, that is about the time when Mary would have looked at Joseph and screamed "It's time!!!" They had nowhere to go. She lay there in hay, have you tried that before?? My skin starts to itch and turn red. It's not pretty. Did that happen to her? Remember she was around 14yrs old. Another whole thing to think of. Did she have her precious ipod to help her keep her mind off the pain? No, she had the wonderful aroma of cow dooky. It seems to me that all five of her senses were being offended at the time of Christs birth. Think about that . . . what was she hearing . . . seeing . . . feeling . . . smelling . . . and tasting? So much for the glorious moment with bright white beautiful angels and the ever present song, "aaaahhhhhhhhhhh." No ice chips for her maybe not even a clean glass of water.
Then the clean up, I'm not sure I can go on but you get the picture. My point is this: we focus on all that Christ gave up to come to earth to save us and he did indeed give up a lot. But there were other people involved too. They did a ton more than I think I am even capable of. Would I be willing to live completely outside my comfort zone to facilitate His will? Most of the time when I am uncomfortable I think, "there has to be another way to accomplish this . . ." Whether it's fasting, or volunteering, or you name it. Most of the time I'm not even sure what God is trying to do in my life but somehow I limit the whole 'living sacrifice' idea to a max of about 3 hours. I'm usually making my calendar according to things that i want to do. Things I have to get done. Things that I enjoy. I'm pretty sure we think, "well life was so easy back then. They didn't have all the stress and ungodliness we do these days. It's not like she had anything else to do besides having babies" Oh come on!!! The back of a donkey! I wouldn't wish to live during that time for anything. One of their struggles was physical hardship, I think ours is spiritual and emotional. We have to build our character in a much different manner. It's easy to be sneaky now-a-days and watch whatever we want on TV, go out with different groups of friends, listen to music that promotes everything Christ died to save us from, be one person at work and another at church because those people just don't understand.
The question remains: IF God chose me and sent an angel asking me to disrupt my life and do whatever it took to make sure His will could be done, would I do it? No matter the physical, emotional, or spiritual challenge? No matter what my co-workers would say or family, or friends even Christian friends? Would there be room in my calendar? Will it take a 7 foot angel to scare the crap out of me first? Why would he even think to pick me? But wait, hasn't he already picked me? And isn't he asking me that everyday?
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