In Kari world, my biggest challenge right now is trying to find the balance between friends and Scott also learning to put myself second. That is the hardest! I read what the Bible says about serving your spouse and dieing to self etc. but sometimes I just want to behave like I'm still single. You know like not doing the dishes or laundry and just vegging out in front of the T.V. And that will probably be ok once in a while but I do sometimes feel an urgency to get that kind of stuff done for Scott maybe because I want to make sure I'm a good wife. I also don't always want to have the long conversations that Scott wants to have and that is another form of dieing to self. Sometimes, I have this desperate need to have some alone time too. Is that even normal??
Just think about the fact that none of this is ever true of God. There is NEVER a time when he wants to be free from you. He, like Scott wants to serve and make you feel loved. Unlike me it is not a constant struggle for him to die to self and love us just the way we are.
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness." Lam 3:22-23
The amount of love that God has for us is so far beyond what I can even comprehend.
You see, I am so fickle. I get tired and want to rest or watch T.V. or something completely focused on me. The last thing I am thinking is how to serve Scott. A far cry from Proverbs 31. But then there is God and how tireless his love is for us. Seriously, type in the word love to any on line Bible or look it up in your concordance and you will see that God REALLY loves YOU.
What blows me away even more is that the God of the universe that created even every blade of grass knows exactly what is on my mind at any moment. This love is not like I scrap booked invites to my friends birthday party and they turned out great "i love them." NO this is a love like I am making my own veil and I have to search for the right colors and netting and flowers and beads. When I get done making it I am so happy, if it turns out. It is beautiful and I'm thinking I could even sell it on etsy.com :)
Now God doesn't want to sell you, duh! But he is so proud of his creation moreover he is so in love with you that he has prepared a mansion for you to live in. That is one thing for us: we are talking about all the life plans that we have. When will a house be in the picture and kids. Where should we be looking for a job and how long do we have to stay in this tiny little condo????
God knows, he is making all the plans. For the wedding, for life, for the return of the bridegroom. Kinda blows my mind.
Ok, here is another thing. How does the bride get ready for the wedding? Scott was just pointing this out last night. For the groom and the groomsmen all they have to do is go into a tux shop, get measured, buy the thing and be done. For us girls who are having the dresses made it takes getting measured, then finding the material, then a pattern, then a fitting, then the right undergarments, then another fitting until the dress is done. Then for the bride it is similar after weeks of looking for the dress then purchasing it there is the alterations and the shoes, jewelry, hair stuff, veil etc. I will also be getting all my nails done and my hair and maybe tanning and even maybe a wax since we are going to Isla Mujeres for our honeymoon.
It makes me think of how I am preparing for the return of the heavenly bridegroom. Do I spend even a fraction of the same amount of time thinking about how beautiful my spiritual garments are or how I am cultivating my spiritual person like I am my physical person for my wedding to Scott.
Anyway, these are just a few of my completely random thoughts lately.
Comments are welcome.
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