just takin it easy

I think blogging is a blast. Clearly I do it all the time, eye roll. The truth is I have a lot of thoughts but I am just not sure people want to read them all the time so I keep lots of them to myself and only try to share what I feel God is revealing to me. Today I'm borrowing a subject from Peter Haas.

First off I would like to address the subject of my pastors message yesterday, Parenting. I was raised in a house where the facts shared in the message were a no-brainer but it was sure interesting to me that he used a secular study to prove what my parents have been saying all along. That the number one predictor of raising healthy stable kids is spiritual nurturing. Teaching your kids about faith. The second is how the parents handle their own stress. Interesting, how the adults handle stress and even what steps they take to avoid stress all together; i.e. making sure you are on a budget, will greatly impact the children in the house. The third, again, does not even involve the children, is how you treat your spouse. Can you believe that?? If they are in a home with a rocky marriage and the adults are at odds there is no amount of money that can change that. No gift or toy will be able to undo what has happened due to the fact that our pride is too big or that we are so selfish. The quality of your marriage effects the kids. You can't throw around the option of divorce and say that the kids will be fine, they won't according to this study.

He said that we seem to have this mentality that we ensure a good marriage in the "shopping stage" meaning we think if we find the right person to marry in the first place that the work is done. We found the right pair of shoes now go run. But it doesn't work like that. We need to be vigilant in our relationship and put lots of time into each other. His advice for couples: every 7 days go on a date, every 7 weeks go away on a weekend together, and every 7 months go on a vacation or mini-vacation together. The kids need to learn how to self sooth or cope when Mom and Dad are not around anyway so this is a good opportunity and healthy for both the children and the parents.

OH, he also said that if a couple spontaneously kiss 8 times a day they will be more healthy, physically. Cool huh?

I can't wait to try all this good stuff out on my husband, whenever God gives him to me that is.

He also did a message last week about the meaning of the word "head" as in the head of the household. Here in America the church gets it wrong often and men tend to think it means that when it comes down to it they are the boss. This is true HOWEVER, the actual meaning is the first to act. I.e. the first to go to battle, the first to sacrifice, the first to repent, the first to call together. You get the idea. The meaning seems more true to the phrase we use: the head of the river. Not the controller but the source of family. Anyway, if you want to hear more and definitely a more eloquent listen go to: http://substancechurch.com/podcast/i/1b40c

I had more to say but it seems so unimportant next to parenting issues. Please utilize the resources available. Your marriage is so precious to God and so SO important to many people. Us single people are watching and trying to learn the good and the could-have-been-handled- betters. Peter said there are more than 40,000 books on parenting on Amazon. It seems like a ocean not easily navigated but these short messages may help in key areas so I hope you have a few minutes to listen.

Happy kissing ;)
Kari

of a comfort hopeful.

Last night we had our "Christmas Eve Service." We don't have our own building at Substance so we use Maranatha Hall at Northwestern in St. Paul and it's always reserved for the actual Christmas Eve. The service was amazing. My mothers comment was that she thought it should have been longer and it did feel really short. But the point of it was to entice and befriend people who are "Christmas only" church goers into hearing the news about the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

Anyway, the reason I am here today is because something hit me, there is always something this time of year, and I'd like to share it with you.

When I lived in Indonesia I had a friend that got pregnant. From the time she found out until the time I left she was all about pampering herself. All of a sudden she could not go out after work, 3 in the afternoon, she had to go home for a nap and no more movies that was just way too late for her because she was so tired. I figured out that maybe one reason the women there act this way is because it is the only time their husbands will "serve" them. It is also a time when the mother-in-laws tend to smile more often than they frown. Also, it could be that the infant fatality rate there is higher due to the limited availability of health care. I'm just guessing here but you never know.

On the other hand there is America. Women work up until their last ability to stand. I have seen waitresses that look like they are past due still schlepping dishes to and from tables. BUT then when the time comes there is an army of medical personnel that are there to wipe things and hold things and when really embarrassing things happen like more than the baby comes out there are plenty of people to assure you that it is normal and there is nothing to be ashamed of. The pile of cloths and gloves and instruments that are used and available in case needed are amazing here. When it comes to a wanted baby the earth seems to stop on their behalf. It's a baby after all.

Now for any of you that have been or known someone that has been pregnant think of that last month. You know how a pregnant lady stands up from a comfy couch. One arm at a time trying to lob her weight into the air while holding her back and supporting with her other hand. Then proceeding to waddle to the bathroom 20 times a day. We've all seen it, and laughed but now imagine that same woman not getting out of a couch but off a donkey's back. Think of how in her last month for weeks traveling, which is bad enough in a car with heat and music, high atop a rocking animal who no doubt had a protruding spine that was meant to be her perch for hours on end. How long do you think all the potty breaks made that trip? Do you think she even stopped every time she needed to go. I imagine she felt dirty and gross all the time. She knew she was carrying the son of the God of the universe but do you think that mattered when she really had to go? Maybe God provided a really chubby donkey so her trip wasn't so excruciating.

I think of the night when my family opens gifts, Christmas Eve. How right about the time we are wrapping it up having eaten our fill, enjoyed each others expression of love through gifts, probably sang a little, maybe even shared what Christmas means to us, that is about the time when Mary would have looked at Joseph and screamed "It's time!!!" They had nowhere to go. She lay there in hay, have you tried that before?? My skin starts to itch and turn red. It's not pretty. Did that happen to her? Remember she was around 14yrs old. Another whole thing to think of. Did she have her precious ipod to help her keep her mind off the pain? No, she had the wonderful aroma of cow dooky. It seems to me that all five of her senses were being offended at the time of Christs birth. Think about that . . . what was she hearing . . . seeing . . . feeling . . . smelling . . . and tasting? So much for the glorious moment with bright white beautiful angels and the ever present song, "aaaahhhhhhhhhhh." No ice chips for her maybe not even a clean glass of water.

Then the clean up, I'm not sure I can go on but you get the picture. My point is this: we focus on all that Christ gave up to come to earth to save us and he did indeed give up a lot. But there were other people involved too. They did a ton more than I think I am even capable of. Would I be willing to live completely outside my comfort zone to facilitate His will? Most of the time when I am uncomfortable I think, "there has to be another way to accomplish this . . ." Whether it's fasting, or volunteering, or you name it. Most of the time I'm not even sure what God is trying to do in my life but somehow I limit the whole 'living sacrifice' idea to a max of about 3 hours. I'm usually making my calendar according to things that i want to do. Things I have to get done. Things that I enjoy. I'm pretty sure we think, "well life was so easy back then. They didn't have all the stress and ungodliness we do these days. It's not like she had anything else to do besides having babies" Oh come on!!! The back of a donkey! I wouldn't wish to live during that time for anything. One of their struggles was physical hardship, I think ours is spiritual and emotional. We have to build our character in a much different manner. It's easy to be sneaky now-a-days and watch whatever we want on TV, go out with different groups of friends, listen to music that promotes everything Christ died to save us from, be one person at work and another at church because those people just don't understand.

The question remains: IF God chose me and sent an angel asking me to disrupt my life and do whatever it took to make sure His will could be done, would I do it? No matter the physical, emotional, or spiritual challenge? No matter what my co-workers would say or family, or friends even Christian friends? Would there be room in my calendar? Will it take a 7 foot angel to scare the crap out of me first? Why would he even think to pick me? But wait, hasn't he already picked me? And isn't he asking me that everyday?

of a learner.

I am always taken aback by the new things I learn about the Bible. There is ALWAYS something new. Today in church we went over the prodigal son. I was convicted about being a bit of both the brothers. Wanting to see what is out there like the younger son and also being bitter for doing what is right my whole life just to have nothing to show for it like the older brother.

I have so much more to say but I always sit down way too late at night and here I am again. I am on Christmas break for the next 2 weeks maybe I'll have the self discipline to actually write a whole blog . . . well pray for me. :)

a blessed daughter.

So here is the story. I was at my parent’s house when a friend dropped of a full new set of knives for them including a sharpener. My mom pulled out the old knives and we made sure they were good and sharp before I selected the few that were to be handed down. I left that night thinking how I was going to carry four knives a purse, my duffel from the club, control the dog on a leash, and have a hand to work the key chain once I get home? So with a strike of brilliance I threw the knives in my purse jumped in the car tossing the purse on the front seat. After all things and creatures were secured inside the vehicle I was on my way. I went through Anoka were the main road has an unreasonably low speed limit not meant for anyone to follow so I didn’t. As I watched a cop put out onto the main drag behind me I knew I was in for it. Not that I didn’t deserve it but that I finally got caught. Once he put his lights on I pulled off onto a side road, I hate that when people stop on the busy street impeding all the rest of traffic, right next to a Walgreens.

He walked over to the window that I had already rolled down and I was leaning over to get my insurance when he asked, “Do you know why I pulled you over?” Can someone tell me why they ask such asinine questions?? What the heck does it matter what I think anyway? Clearly I think the speed limit is too low but he’s not asking me that!!! Anyway, with the idiotic questioning out of the way he asked that I produce my license and insurance. No problem, I handed him the insurance and then thrust my hand into my purse to grab my wallet but was instead met with the knives. As soon as contact was made my hand sprung back out and I grabbed it and squeezed hoping to stop the bleeding I knew was there. I had to explain the situation to the officer who responded, “Maybe you should put them on the floor.” I said that was good counsel and I was sure my finger wasn’t so bad but when I held my hand up to see how bad the cut really was the blood was dripping down my hand. It looked REALLY bad. I continued in a gimpy fashion to get a hold of my wallet and hand him my I.D. He said he would be right back and started walking toward his squad. I stuck my head out and said, “While you are back there can you grab a band aid please.” I mean if a cop didn’t have one in his car who would, right?

He came back after such a length of time that I was sure he had not only written a ticket but taken the time to edit it a few times. He said that the smallest band aid he had was twice the size of his own hand but, and get this, he was not going to give me a ticket so I should take the money and go into Walgreens and buy one.

Isn’t that funny?? He must have felt really bad for me. When all was said and done and I got a chance to actually look at the big slice in my finger, it was tiny and I mean TINY. It was probably smaller than the paper cut I got earlier this week.

When people say that God works in mysterious ways that is no joke. I was doing 42 in a 30. To my credit I thought I was going 40 in a 35 still the ticket would have been between $180-$220. Praise God for saving me from myself, again.

of a weak willed servant.

I am glad that my God is so merciful.

At the same time I am just a bit bewildered by how opposite my desires are to what I know God's will is. Or are they??

How is it that a girl that is all about God's will is trying to make her own happen no matter what? Clearly there is a pretty big trust issue here.

Has God really let me down so much that I have reason to "make things happen?"

And how is it so hard to do what is right?

God is so good. We heard today at Substance Church that we as "Christians" can choose to be the multitude or the disciple. The difference being that we either count to Jesus or we are the ones Jesus counts on.

If we are Christians that are trying to live our own lives without really anymore of Gods input than a Sunday morning church service then we are probably part of the multitude. BUT, and this is a big but, if we are people that are willing to surrender everything and allow God's will to be our own then we become the discipled. Yes I did said EVERYTHING.

That is very hard to swallow. Especially here in America where we want to be able to do, watch, listen to anything we want without even a second thought as to how we are or are not effecting the world.

I have Christian friends that are participating in Yoga classes, others that love Glee, still others that are sleeping with boyfriends on Saturday night and going to church with them on Sunday.

I have no idea what to say about these things. I know how hard it is to abstain from, well anything!

Did you know that self-denial is a spiritual discipline? Have you ever heard of such a thing??
You will grow stronger and more mature and deeper in your relationship with God if you learn how to tell yourself "NO", interesting huh?

Maybe that is why it is important to move out of your mothers house at an appropriate age, and be responsible for your own bills understanding the world does not revolve around you. Or live overseas where you need to learn new things and be sensitive to another culture, learn a new language, figure out the transportation system etc. Or live with roommates so you are constantly needing to consider another person when you do things, buy things, eat things, etc.

How have you taken steps to practice self-denial? Sometimes it needs to be quite intentional, I will try to come up with something and then I will post it, you can help keep me accountable if you want . . . or not. : )

Post your ideas too so we can encourage each other:

of a single girl

So I suppose I should start calling myself a woman since I will be turning 35 in less than 5 months. Depressing really . . .

I have been reading the "for teens by teens" book called 'Do Hard Things' by Alex and Brett Harris. It is really good for all of us I think. It challenges adolescence and explains how in the past there has only been two stages of life; childhood and adulthood. They explain how we really need to be taking on more responsibility earlier in life so that we can have a good foundation once we hit adulthood.

I think they are right on.

I interpret in two government classes at the high school where I work and it is amazing to me how it seems that the students in our public school districts, or at least mine, are being taught that the people with lots of money are bad and that the poor people are only that way because of potiticians that are fat, rich, white, men that hate women, all republicans of course. They are being taught that the liberal perspective is that people deserve as much freedom as we can snatch from the power hungry conservatives. Freedoms such as a woman's' right to choose, freedom to love whom ever you want, freedom from religious oppression, prayer in school is religious oppression in case you didn't know, freedom from poverty. That it is the governments job, according to Locke, to protect your right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This means "making sure you can be wealthy or have the opportunity to become wealthy." REALLY??? It seems to me that the government is trying to take the money away from the people who have earned it and is trying to give it to those who have not. They are not making sure that the students understand that money is not free. I wonder if their parents are helping since they are all from pretty wealthy families. Liberal families that support Obama. I don't get it. If they want to give money away why don't they want to choose where it goes.

I have to admit that I'm not sure we would make the hard decisions to actually give more money away if we weren't forced. In one of the political surveys we took there was a question about getting rid of welfare and only having private charities. What would you do?? I think most Americans, like we do now, turn our eyes so we don't have to see the need. I know I do that. There just seems to be so much of it and I hate to say it but I think that the welfare system causes some of it. Everything boils down to selfishness. I've been saying that for years because the older I get the more I experience that even in my own life.

It is a bit scary to me that the children are being taught that having no moral standard means "freedom." There is so much more to it than that. We discussed which is more important personal freedom or public protection. Well, I think the liberal would say public protection but all the "freedoms" they fight for are destroying this nation on a family level and in that way destroying people. How many broken people can one nation produce????

In the preparation for one of the classes I was reading about the fact that our republic is loosely based on the ancient Roman republic. It lasted 500 years. We are 200 years into ours and I confidently can say that I am pretty sure we will not last the 500. Not the way we are spending, encouraging complete moral anarchy, and killing the next generations. What will the next three generations say about us and learn about this time when it becomes history? It's something that I think about all the time. And since I'm getting old I might as well say it, what is this world coming to??

Getting back to the doing hard things. I wonder what outside my comfort zone thing God is calling me to? Not politics because those people piss me off. I'm pretty sure that will never change. Why is doing hard things such a slap in some peoples face? Why am I denying their rights if I expect a higher moral standard for their lives moreover one that will make them more happy, allow them to live life to the fullest, and give them the confidence to enjoy the liberty that they have? I wonder how many single moms on welfare feel like they live in a nation where they have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They have food stamps, yes. They have section 8 housing, yes. They get free education, yes. But are they happy? Are they proud of what they have accomplished in life? Do they feel free?

Whatever, these are just a fraction of my thoughts today. They may change tomorrow.

I am a bit overwhelmed with life. The weather is getting cold here and I have to fight depression, not real, every year at this time. I hate cold. WHY DO I LIVE HERE!?! Well, three reasons: Samara, Caleigh, and Ellianna.

later - Kari

Switching things up

I have been dreading the beginning of school (work) for about a month now. If you do the math that is about half of my summer. Doesn't make much sense but it's true none-the-less true. The reason was because I was going to have to figure out the new pecking order since the top interpreter dog retired and I offered to take some of her jobs. I work with a woman that likes to control things and people and I have this horrible rebellion to being controlled. Micro-managers are not my friends. I did not know if she would "allow" me to take over some of the responsibility of the other interpreter or not. Any how, when the year started, last week, I was prepared for a fight and refreshingly there has not been one. We all have had to work together to make even the beginning of the year successful since so many cuts were made. Not unreasonable cuts but still budget cuts. So far we are all still friends, 5 days and counting.

On the other hand, at home the little man (Oliver) has totally toned down since the last post. We made it over the 1 1/2 yr mark and even though he still needs a bunch of exercise he has not chewed anything up in awhile. He has graduated to the kitchen for his daily confinement and sometimes he gets out but just sleeps on the couch. I think he owns this place now. Other dogs that come to visit are under his authority, clearly, and if they try to even sniff his bones he lays the smack down. It's cute

I was biking the other day and the wind was so strong that I was sure if I stopped pedaling for awhile the wind would not only stop me but send the bike rolling in the opposite direction. On some roads the wind was not bad but then others it was a force to be reckoned with. The next day I decided to walk. Again, the wind was really strong on some streets and not on others. I got to thinking that is how life is. I had been discussing with a friend her job and she works in a christian school and all I could think was, "Wow, you have no idea how easy that environment must be compared to a public high school." It's true, working in a public high school and being a Christian is like walking/biking directly into the wind. I didn't like the dirt being blown into my face but at the same time it makes me a stronger person. The more I endure the forces of evil the stronger I get to once again show up to work the next day. I know there are challenges in any situation after all we are all human and there will always be conflict and God is sufficient to be with us through it.
The first week I already have had a teacher make fun of people that think they hear from God, calling them schizophrenic. A teacher asked his class if they supported welfare (good, liberal) or if they liked war and killing women and children (bad, conservative). I wonder, would your child who you taught to be responsible and love God have the guts to stand up to a teacher like that?? Or the fact that in the first week I talked to 3 girls about appropriate clothing and almost got MY butt chewed for it when none of the actual administrators even cared that we could see the underwear or bras. What is wrong with parents these days?? Who lets their daughters out the house looking like a whore???? Then blame the school for making her feel bad about her appearance. I am blown away by how strong parents will fight to make sure their kids have the lease amount of self-respect, self-worth, or conviction when they graduate from high school!

All I'm sayin' is that it would be nice to just take a walk on a nice sunny day with NO WIND. Just once in a while. Get it?? Then tell your daughter to pull her skirt down and your son to pull his pants up, Please.

Thanks and God bless :)

Here is my boy with his new hair cut. I am not sure he likes it but I fell in love again. I am not ok with all the hair and look how cute that face is!

a dog owner . . . still

I am trying really hard today to like my dog today. I feel like I am out on walks with him at least three times a day. Today is Saturday and I am fighting to have some quiet time because the dog is walking around wining! Yesterday I left him out of his kennel while I had a meeting. It went a bit long but I had taken him to the dog park for 40 min before I left. Still when I got home he had cleared the coffee table eaten the fortune cookie I had left there from earlier in the week and then when he got all the papers off the table he proceeded to tear them all to little pieces. It looks like it snowed in my place. I don't mind him tearing up the paper because it seems if it weren't the paper it might be furniture.

I am working hard trying to figure out the spiritual lesson to be learned in a very active dog and a owner that just wants to veg. I will leave it for you to come up with, just please post it so I can benefit from the lesson too. Thanks

of a dog owner.

For Christmas my brother bought my dog, really me, a lazer pointer thingy. Let me explain for those of you that are thinking, "what kind of idiot buys a dog a Christmas gift?" It is on the end of a pen at least this one is a pen and you hold down a button and it shoots a red lazer beam. The dog sees only the red dot on the floor or wall or ceiling if you are my nieces. The dog is immediately transformed into a psychotic being with one goal to eat that light. It does not matter that it travels well out of reach up the wall or if it is on a person. The dog is going to get it. Now the funny thing is that it is really like the animal loses his mind because if you are shining the lazer from one end of the room to the other and continue that multiple times he will just keep running in the same pattern even if you turn the light off. He will then retrace his steps and go to every place the light was to see if it is there. If you shine the light into a closet or seemingly under a blanket or rug he will stay there and dig or search for it until he is satisfied it is no longer there or if he spots the reappearing light somewhere else. Not only that but I brought the lazer pointer outside so he could really run and run he did. I did that two nights in a row and today when we went out there he looked at me like,"Ok, where is the red dot?" He knows it is from that pen and when I pick it up he gets all excited. His tail starts moving his whole hind quarters from side to side as he anticipates what is going to happen. It really tires him out. I am truly indebted to my brother.

It makes me a bit sad actually. I think of how much I appreciate that little pointer and how when the dog is excited it makes me happy. I know that God loves us and wants us to be excited about the good things he does for us. Could this be what the Bible means when it says, "Seek first the kingdom of God . . ." The work SEEK means : to try to acquire or gain : aim at or a : to go in search of : look for b : to try to discover.

I wish that when I sit down to seek Gods face I would have that much motivation. To go back, when I feel I am not finding, to the places I know I have seen God in the past. Or to continue on a road I know God set forth and be content on it even without seeing him until he reveals himself again. Instead, I am constantly asking God what my next step should be or what I should be about. God's will is not possibly just to live is it??? Women are so funny that way. We always need to be accomplishing something. I say women because I don't know many men that are usually trying new things or learning new things in order to feel like they are accomplishing something. We, or maybe just me, I feel like I am always trying to do more with my life. Along the idea of never stop learning but it is more than that. I tend to get bored with life and need excitement. It does concern me sometimes because there is bound to be a day when the need for excitement will lead to something more than I can handle or hide. This is why I wish I would learn to go for God the way my dog goes for that red dot. I want to be so excited about what he is doing that I just want to eat it. I don't want to slam my head into the wall like he does but you get the idea. I just want a hunger that is never satisfied.

Like the Kari Jobe sing called 'The more I seek you' says: "the more I seek you the more I find you, the more I find you the more I love you. I want to sit at your feet drink from the cup in your hand lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat." That is what I want to feel God's heart beat. And never go back yet I am so human so weak. I am amazed that I can have my eye on the prize and still walk in a direction that is off the mark. God is so good to me that he has kept me alive and not allowed a black hole to swallow me up. I think I need to read 'The Shack' again.

So did I write about school? I had been taking some college classes in order to become a real adult with a real degree from a real college so I have a real profession but I am just so not in that place. I am sick of the pressure to perform academically and pay to be taught things I totally do not agree with. I also suck at meeting the financial aide deadlines and filling out all the paperwork for the government. I think that chapter is over for me. At least at a proper school. I may pursue more experience at North Heights Church or some other type of training but to write papers for the next four years of my life . . .no thanks. This is not my final answer but it is how I am feeling right now. I have not prayed through it yet and I do need to do that first.

Oliver is 9 months old now. He is doing really good. I have got to figure out his language but once that happens more naturally things will be super smooth. He does well being calm during the day if he gets a good long walk in the morning. When he is totally flipping out and in my face it means he needs to go outside and I am not used to that quite yet. He does fine if I do not drop everything to let him pee. I get it eventually like usually within about 15 min. Then back in the house and he plays a bit then sleeps. He is a good boy getting used to the grooming and ear cleaning. I guess I do not have to kill him like I said so many times the first few months. And my nieces LOVE him so there is no way I could ever get rid of him now. I mean when Elliana can even sign dog and says, "OOOOO" when she sees Oliver there is no question. :) Love that kid!!!

Hope you could follow my 'webbing'. I am a girl. Or should I say a woman now that I am 34, YIKES. Scary . . .