reflections

January 31st, 2011 represents a year to me that has been filled with both heart ache and triumph. Admittedly the heart ache was self inflicted, which is one reason it is so hard to understand, but the triumph was such an act of God's grace that I feel like I have increased revelation in a few different areas of life.

One area is the fact that God promises to be our refuge and strength. He is our fortress in times of trouble and he is our counselor. As I think of these things in light of this last year it is clear to me that in the moment of our heart ache or bad decisions or when it feels like our world is crashing down around us at no fault of our own God will be our strength. Our adviser, counselor, strength for the fight. But if we are so tired from life, worn out by the fight we insist on fighting in our own strength he does promise to be our fortress and refuge.

Read Psalm 31:

¹ In you, LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
² Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
³ Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
⁴ Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
⁵ Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, LORD, my faithful God.

⁶ I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
as for me, I trust in the LORD.
⁷ I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
⁸ You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.

¹⁴ But I trust in you, LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”

¹⁵ My times are in your hands;
deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
from those who pursue me.
¹⁶ Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
¹⁷ Let me not be put to shame, LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and be silent in the realm of the dead.
¹⁸ Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.

¹⁹ How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
on those who take refuge in you.
²⁰ In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from all human intrigues;
you keep them safe in your dwelling
from accusing tongues.

²¹ Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed me the wonders of his love
when I was in a city under siege.
²² In my alarm I said,
“I am cut off from your sight!”
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.

²³ Love the LORD, all his faithful people!
The LORD preserves those who are true to him,
but the proud he pays back in full.
²⁴ Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

The way I look at it is, that if you want God to be your fortress you need to take the time and discipline to move into a place where you are able to take refuge in him.

Think of it like this: you are out on the field of war, like in the movie Braveheart, you are in the wide open and although you have your weapons, the sword of truth etc Eph 6, you have no covering. You cry out to God for help and he can and will provide strength and wisdom.
Even a help mate and encouragement etc but in order for him to be your refuge or provide a fortress you gotta get your butt over to the fort. Get on your horse and ride babe ride!! Don't hope that you sometime will wander through he doors of a huge fortress. NO you have to be intentional about getting your time and opening your Bible in order to take full advantage of what God offers in times of war, battle, a bit of a struggle, or even times of peace.

I have had some tough things happen this year. No one died but at work I have been challenged big time and even in relationships, that is the self inflicted heart ache I was talking about, at the beginning of the year. Wow, reading my diary was so depressing. Why God bestowed on me the gift of Scott I have no idea. God is SO good to me. I wish you could all meet him. He is pretty amazingly wonderful.

Even as we are starting some pre marriage work I just have to keep reminding myself that God is my source and there will be hard times, in addition to the challenges we have already encountered, that will prove to be only resolvable or solvable by the grace of God in a place of his peace and rest. I assume that if I can stay in that place the conflict won't feel quite so painful. I can only try.

I encourage you this year, and I will try to remember and practice my own advice, to remember to get into that fortress sooner than later when things come up. Don't try to battle alone. It may work but you will end up wounded and a perfect target for another attack from the enemy. God wants us to grow up through hard times but remember he only gives you what he knows you are strong enough to endure. AND he gives you all the tools you need, pick them up. AND he gives you a place to rest in the midst of it, get in there . . . and I think you will find that you are a different, better, person at this time next year. That is my hope anyway . . . each year a marked change into a closer reflection of God.

Pray that, right now, over your life and over the lives of the ones you love.

God hears you.

Now go live righteously!!