My beautiful babies are teaching me more about the love of Christ than I ever knew before. My Clara is 4. She is her mothers daughter in the fact that she is a Sass! Yikes. I struggle with how to parent in a godly way so as not to destroy her little spirit but also to require respect and obedience. My Daniel is almost 3. He is sweet and tough all at the same time. I also struggle with how to parent him as to show him how to be gentle but strong at the same time. I do take comfort in the fact that God gave them to me because he knew I would be the best mother for them although I question his judgement some days. So I pray. I pray that Gos will give me wisdom to know how to reach their hearts not just influence their behavior. That my parenting will draw them to the heart of God not push them away. That I will be giving them valuable tools for living and not just behavior that minimizes embarrassment for their mother.
Sunday was hot. I had the kids by myself as Scott was helping his parents close up his grandmothers house 4 hours away. I had an extra long day at church so we were headed home around nap time. On the drive Clara said she wanted water. I explained that there was no water in the van and she would have to wait until we got home. She started kicking my seat and saying, "I don't want to wait! I'm NOT going to wait!" She repeated herself and got increasingly agitated and loud for the next 5 min. I could do literally nothing about her wanting water.
I realized that this is how I have been behaving in life. I want to tell God; I want a healthy husband and a great marriage NOW!! I'm not gonna wait!!!
Like a little brat I want to demand what I want when I want it. Unlike me God has the power to do whatever he wants but He also loves me enough not to give me what my tantrum demands. I need to wait. God's timing is never wrong. It's always perfect. It doesn't mean I won't be thirsty for a time but my needs are always met and even the road to my desires is laid out for me to walk on. The road is not gold plated and has a ton of pot holes so I need to stay focused on my heavenly Father who, I believe, wants the same thing I want. A healthy husband and a great marriage.
I did parent Clara out of her tantrum and she did get a drink when we got home but I let the episode go on just long enough for me to really see how insane it was for me to be resisting the working of God in my life. YES it takes a ton of self sacrifice, YES it takes self denial, YES it requires humility, and YES all of that hurts. So far, and I'm far from the end, it has been worth it.
Stay tuned for more lessons from the bumpy road.
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